MAY 2025

13.05 - First entry ! Maybe writing will help me. So, the last years were not easy at all. Got a lot of problems but at least I have my Youtube Channel. So yeah, we actually are stuck at 2k​, but that's okay, I just really need to promote my channel a little bit more

15.05  - My arm hurts like crazy, I don't know why. But at least I got outside a bit. My mental state isn't the best but I feel RELATIVELY good. The last few days haven't been easy. But I'm hoping to have some peace and quiet in the next few days! I'm currently working on some potential future music, hopefully I can finish it! Regarding the YouTube channel, promotion is difficult. I'm really struggling to reach more people. Twitter is dead, and the algorithm isn't helping me.

16.05 - It's 2pm as I write this. I'm a little tired but very happy because I'm working on a new OC as well as an IRL makeover? I should work on my animation but... I'm too tired

17.05  - 5.30pm. I have fun on Skyrim, Neocities and with some demons in a nightclub in hell. New OC is almost finished. Idk if I'll use it for something else... I should. Anyway, my insecurities are kinda invasive for the last few days. And I wish the French administration will be faster. I HOPE. Because god dammit. I need to breathe. But, except for that, I am feeling well. I have so many ideas for stories and stuff. Especially concerning demons things. It makes me happy

18.05 - 5.30 pm. Today is difficult. My mind is foggy and I'm a little paranoid and scared. My traumas keep coming back to piss me off, and it's causing me anxiety attacks. And I'm afraid that by constantly asking for help, it'll push away the help I need. I tried to make some music today and work on my OC a little more. I'm going to go for a walk and hope it helps me feel better. I really feel like I'm suffocating and like the sword of Damocles is hanging over my head. I'm just afraid of losing what I have, because I'm traumatized and needy...

18.05 - 6pm. BUT ! Because there is one, I still feel better ! And it is just my brain that is broken. And I'm making everything to feel better, and soon, I'm sure, I'll feel be so fucking much better ! Writing help me a lot tbh, and even if people are not reading, or if they are, it's okay. I am human and I'm not scared to show my emotions. I'm feeling better. Even better than when I wrote the first paragraph. Mood swings are annoying lol